Peanut was born in the breach position, which means that she was born upside down. She was also last of her litter to be born, so I like to imagine that, after seeing her brothers and sisters ride the water slide out of mama, she thought she'd be the cool one to do it backwards. Unfortunately, she managed to get her little fat head stuck on the ride and so her tiny brain was starved of oxygen for a few seconds more than it could handle. This is how our special little pal came to be a particularly potent flavour of unique.
We already had three other dogs from the same family line, all Yorkshire Terriers, all bred by my mother, all with names you would give a doggy prostitute if such a terrible thing existed. The great grandmother is Angel or, as I like to call her, Square Bear, for she is the stockiest and most cuboid of dogs and she has a cute little bear face.
Next comes Missy, the granny, alias Missy Bumface McFlagtail. She got her name for the fact that when she was still a dog babby her mummy Angel, who'd had a cesarean for the first time and decided that since she hadn't seen her babies physically shoot of her that they must be pod people who'd eaten her real children and now were after her precious life milk, thought she'd save the world by munching down these abominations. Thankfully, she only managed to chomp the end off Missy's tail before she was scooped out of harms way. All the other puppies got away unscathed in case you were doubled over in sadness. After this event her tail hair kept growing over her stump so now it looks like she's waving a tiny hairy flag constantly. I added the Bumface part because she is a bumface.
Baby is the final dog, but everyone calls her Scamp or Freak because she has these weird ass extra toes and the claws on them grow round in circles. There was this one time where the circle claws on her back feet managed to get locked together and she was dragging herself along like a seal, which made it really hard to untangle her. That and I was laughing so hard all my energy was going into not weeing all over my kitchen.
And now we had Peanut, the exciting new generation! So many hopes and expectations, oh how lucky you are little dog do be born in such radical fast paced times! But what's this? All your brothers and sisters have learnt to walk by now and there you are, rolling to your destination like a little furry armadillo. They all have shiny, sleek coats, where as you look like you've been sleeping inside an ass all your life. When it came to the time when we were selling all the babies the woman who bought Peanut gave her back because she was afraid she was going to die since she refused to eat, drink or even move from the spot they set her in. Peanut was the only one left. Peanut was now for keeps.
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