Outside

Now that Peanut was the only pup left she began to come out of her shell like a dirty little turtle. When her brothers and sisters were there she would get pushed out of the way at feeding time and get stuck on her back, again like a dirty little turtle. Since they had all been purchased she had free reign over the food bowl and was beginning to grow into a..well a slightly larger ball of dust.

She eventually gained enough strength to use her little chopstick legs properly so now began the toilet training. My mum bought those special puppy pee pads that smell like dog toilet and gradually she began to fall in love with them. She was using them so well that it was decided that she would finally be allowed into the outside world, which is all toilet! Surely this would be a match made in heaven! Well as it turns out being outside opened her mind to a shiny new emotion: hate. Kitchen; safe, warm, toilet, good. Outside; cold, grass that touches her butthole, flowers that touch her butthole, other dogs that want. To touch. Her butthole. But the worst thing were the insects. Flies flocked to her because she constantly looked like she was about to die, and her little facial tentacles were always coated in last nights food so they could feast like kings. There was one incident however that let her know that the outside was a cruel and evil place and that only inside was safe for pee pees. 

Out one day for her daily drag around the block she encountered a new insect that she had never seen before. It was black and yellow and had pretty little wings that glinted in the light. Maybe these creatures weren't so bad. Maybe they could be friends! She bounded over to have a closer look. My mother, who was walking her, suddenly noticed that the lead had gone taut so she looked round to see Peanut lying still on the pavement. Rushing over to her, she noticed that there was something stuck in her eye. Turns out the lovely stripy creature was a wasp and it had stung her right in the eye. Now this would upset any dog, but Peanut isn't any dog. While they would probably start whining and trying to scratch the terrible beast from their eyeball, she instantly gave up on life and accepted that this was how things were going to be from now on, that she would just lie there and be sad and the wasp would carry on living with its ass in her eye. Of course my mum swiftly removed the offending animal but Peanut was still in shut down mode. Life could not exist now without eyewasp. There was no longer any meaning. 

She was totally fine after she was allowed back inside and promptly wizzed all over everywhere.